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August 27, 2010

Fridays Poetry: Featured Post Winner

Congratulations Dani on this lovely contribution.

O my love, with hair like gold

your beauty torments my heart to scold
I am but a fool fainting to thy will
Please come to meet me upon Treasure Hill
I will await you beside the water's glass
Under the roof by the deck I'll await you, my lass
Until the sky darkens one hundred fold
I'll wait for you, my love, until the weather turns cold
Please come to meet me upon Treasure Hill
O that my heart breaks, if only you will


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2 comments:

Dani said...

O my love, with hair like gold
your beauty torments my heart to scold
I am but a fool fainting to they will
Please come to meet me upon Treasure Hill
I will await you beside water's glass
Under the roof by the deck I'll await you, my lass
Until the sky darkens one hundred fold
I'll wait for you, my love, until the weather turns cold
Please come to meet me upon Treasure Hill
O that my heart breaks, if only you will

Dani said...

two edits:
3rd line - "thy will" instead of "they will"

5th line - add "the" after "beside" and before "water's"

Thanks!